Don’t Give Up
“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley
I know this one is tough.
It also requires instincts as well. Everyone has some sense of if someone is true. If not, you can easily test it and find your answer.
However, this is why you should never give up even if someone has hurt you in the worst way: everyone is going to hurt you in some way, shape or form. Even the next person you decide to give your trust to. It only gets better when you keep working on it. Forgive but DON’T just forget. This is because it will cause you to let your guard down and it is not easy to just forget anyways, so don’t fight it. What else you don’t want to do is use it against people or use it as an outlet to make the situation worst. Observe them and let them know what certain area of the relationship needs working on then discuss how to fix it.
DON’T Engage Bread-crumbing
I need you all to be aware of this because it is becoming a trend. It is sneaky and it always gets you. This is a red flag. This is a DON’T in a relationship.
This is basically leading someone on for nothing. Basically being a booty call and sometimes it does not even go that far. It is important to notice this because people who do breadcrumb aren’t being true with you. Trust me, there is 24 hours in a day, if someone wanted to talk to you, they would find a way (You have to reach out to them too). When they do decide to contact you, it is okay to talk to them. But do not expect much more than that because you won’t get it.
DO – Focus On Becoming More Comfortable
If you are not trying to be best-friends with the person you want to be in a relationship with, what are you doing?
This is where you strengthen your similarities. Literally, put them on steroids and work them out as much as you can. One example is music. The connection based on liking similar music as never failed me and millions of people. Dance to it together, sing to it together, be goofballs with it, whatever you can do to get out of your scaredy cat phase and being yourself.
Also, if you are not spending a lot of time with this person, what are you doing?
This relates to bread-crumbing because it does nothing for the relationship. Spending time together can be video chats as well if you have a long-distance relationships. However, if that person is in close proximity, it is of the best advantage to aim for daily visits with this person.
DO – Be Faithful
This one is self-explanatory.
I’ve done things like let my partner has a fingerprint passcode to my phone and also utilized the ‘Find Friends’ app on the iPhone so they could have my location at all times. Some people may think this is overboard which is okay. However, it cures your overthinking and worrying. My partner usually decides to do the same for me as well. Usually at the beginning of a relationship, this isn’t that good of an idea. It may seem controlling if you are not at the appropriate comfort level with that person.
I once had a problem with temptation. So I asked my married friend, “How does he cope with temptation?” And he simply told me to just pray about it. When you talk to God, our Creator, the universe – somehow your mind is more at ease. I advise you to take this road as well. Temptation will always be there, just know that NOT being faithful will hurt you in the long run.