What Weight Loss Has Taught Me

Story Time!

I remember my mother’s ex-boyfriend telling me that in high school your self image matters a lot.  And that you don’t want to be overweight in high school for kids might make fun of me. I was chunky. I slowly began to realize it was a problem and luckily for me I got into sports and my weight started to go down. I started to eat less and stop craving so much as my stomach had become a lot more smaller. My problem with my self image started to vanish and I just felt more attractive.

Losing weight became a little bit easier for me too. I’ve learned that there is part of the process of losing weight when it seems like that fat is burning quickly. During this phase, I realized that I wasn’t as hungry all the time as I used to be. It’s not that I was scared to eat, it’s just that I didn’t feel like eating. That isn’t bad, it’s what helped me a lot because maintaining your weight is more much more harder than losing the weight.

But combining a healthy diet with a nice workout regime that is specifically designed for a certain time of the day motivates you to continue on. Not to mention you feel like an absolute God when you are practicing your best healthy habits. Losing and maintaining weight has became so much of my life that I start my day off with an exercise. This is usually a morning jog that sets the tone for the rest of the day. This basically primes myself to do some work and get through the day without making any poor eating decisions.

But that is just a good side of the process, the beginning is always the hardest. For me, just getting out of bed in the morning was the hardest first step to make. After that putting on my shoes made getting out the door easier. And getting out the door made starting the jog easier.  Every one of these little small steps we’re tough, and I did not feel like doing it at all. But every time I did one of these little small steps I felt like I could do the next one. Every time I got through one day I felt like I can go through another day. After one week I can do another week, and then after 4 weeks I can do one month.


This is what weight loss has taught me.

  • We have to go through the small steps in the process of anything that we want.  It’s when we don’t feel like doing anything, but we know that we have to do something. As soon as you make that step in the right direction , trust that there is something guiding you.  
  • Those small steps push you forward on your journey.
  • Will Smith once said, “You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say ‘I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that’s ever been built.’ You don’t start there. You say, ‘I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall.”
  • Every small step that leads you closer. You will soon begin to ‘see’ clearly.  But we’re only speaking figuratively, you cannot physically see your goal until you have it. That is why people say that reality isn’t what it seems. Therefore you have to know that these tiny steps that you make will have an enormous impact on your life.


Let me put this into a perspective.

Let’s say you’re trying to get a dollar bill. We all know that pennies have a small value.  A lot of the times we see pennies sitting on the ground and don’t even bother to pick it up. Even though it’s free money! We do not pick it up  because the penny is a small and tiny incremental step to something we would rather have, the dollar bill. Even though that penny brings us closer to the goal, many of us will not pick it up.

You shouldn’t be afraid or have any excuse that holds you back from whatever you are trying to achieve. Because if I can do it and then repeat the formula and do it all over again then anyone can. This happened when I lost weight after middle school and when I put on weight in college and lost it all over again using the same strategy.  

Just do your best today, win today. And then win tomorrow, and then make sure to continue doing that until it is a habit. And you will see just how much your life will change. The journey of weight loss is important to teach what it will feel like to grow and what to expect.


Low Self-Esteem? Maybe This Will Help

1. Understand that You are Being Challenged

The first step to building your self-esteem is to acknowledge all of your challenges. Take in the feeling of low self-worth, and imagine yourself working to eliminate that feeling. One thing that you must know is that life is filled with challenges and EVERYONE has some kind of challenge. These unique challenges are basically your personalized form of kryptonite, they each hold us back from our true potential.

So its just best to get into the reality that facing challenges is just something you have to go through. There is no way around it and it is here to stay. The term for this is ‘adulting’.

Once you go through tons of situations where you realize that you are being challenged, you’ll gain more confidence in your own abilities to act accordingly in that situation. We see this in the so-called “fight or flight response”.

The fight-or-flight response is an evolutionary term that basically states that in a situation, for example, a couple camping in the woods senses a bear nearby. Either they will choose to fight the bear or grab their things and get out of there. This magical phenomenon happens within seconds in your mind and then we choose the action best suited for the moment. So imagine developing this type of response for your craft.

This is important to know because when you do have great self esteem or self confidence the actions that you do become your second nature. You will be able to anticipate obstacles and perform more efficiently. But guess what? Having great self-esteem is like every other skill, you have to work on it – like putting in tons of reps. Some people may have been born with this skill but you always need to practice it in order to get the best out of it. Lastly, the biggest difference between this skill and a skill like hand painting is that everyday life challenges your self esteem. So go out there and get out of your comfort zones – its the only way to solve the challenge.

2 – Understand that Self Esteem Comes from Multiple Forces

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Our definition above said “self confidence in one’s own worth and abilities”. Nobody gets something on their first try. Because of that you should place a focus on getting better at some thing, and it can be anything. Perhaps you want to be more charismatic – all you have to do is research how to be more charasmatic, practice it in the real world and soon enough you’ll start to notice a boost in self esteem.


Have you ever heard the phrase, “Be so good they can’t ignore you.” This is what people who have high self-esteem live by. They take pride in the things they work hard for by putting in so much work. They know in their mind that they pure excellence. We will see this same type of self-esteem in some of your favorite celebrities, it is like an unwavering glow.

3. What’s Holding You Back?


Last of all tips is to take notice of anything that is holding you back from growing your self-esteem and throw it out the window. When you don’t like your self-image your self esteem will get dangerously low. Being self-conscious is needed for our survival. You need to be comfortable with yourself in order for your self esteem to grow.

Best Self Development Books

The above definition of self-development is the topic of this article. Here we will explore the top self development books that I’ve come across. In the definition of self-development, we have to understand that developing “character or abilities” sounds a lot like becoming we you want to be. Here have my top books that have helped me become who I want to be.

Malcolm Gladwell – Outliers

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Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell gives us an explanation to what success is. Outliers is great for self development because it gives us a more realistic outlook on success – or the point where you feel as if you’ve achieved your goals. For example, part one of the of the book is named ‘Opportunity‘. ‘Opportunity’ holds a chapter where we get to learn how Bill Gates came to be. The title of this chapter is 10,000 Hours. Gladwell explains that Gates needed both an opportunity to practice computer programming and enough time to spend about 10,000 hours practicing it. Basically, it’s a bit of luck/meant to be.

Had any one aspect of his life occurred differently – say he was born in a place where computers were NOT prominent – Gates would not be who he is today. For self development to work you have to have a goal, the endpoint. The outlier is the endpoint, they are ‘titans’ of their work. They are experts of their crafts who recognize they have a opportunity and seize it by putting in the time to develop themselves.

Speaking of Titans – The Next Book is ‘Tools of Titans‘ by Tim Ferriss


This book holds many lessons.

Here is a great Tony Robbins quote:

“Long ago, I realized that success leaves clues, and that people who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results.” 

Robbins is one of our generation’s most inspirational self development speaker and from the quote, it almost seems like Ferriss wrote a book on all of the things that successful people do to ensure that they produce outstanding results. The book holds tons of lessons that you can use. You don’t to use every single thing in the book, and that is the beauty of it.


Lastly, John C. Maxwell – How Successful People Think

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Like our previous book, this one holds many valuable lessons. It is as small as a pocketbook and I found myself pulling it out of my back pocket to get a quick read while on the go. By using it this way I was able to start practicing what I learned as soon as I read it – making the material easier to stick. I suggest doing it at work that way you have plenty of time to practice.

This book is an excellent choice for self development because the way you think is the foundation of how you act. Our actions correspond to how we feel. And how we feel is in direct reflection to our overall mood. If we start believing we can lose weight, we will produce desirable actions to lose weight. How we feel will continue to get better once we continue doing these actions and then all of a sudden our mood changes and we start to become more happy. It is that easy, trust me. Therefore, start with changing your thinking and see what awaits.

(Here is a good tip: if you want to be more happy just physically smile, feel a bit more happy?)

What Does Trust the Process Mean?

Trusting the process means taking small steps to get to your destination.

But how long does it take to achieve what they’re trying to get? How much dedication and work is really considered hard work? How do you know if you’re going in the right direction?

If you’ve ever been on a long walk its easy to trust the process because you can trust that your destination hasn’t moved. It is physically located on the globe where it will always be and we can go there whenever we want. The only problem we think is how far away it is and how long it takes to get there cause your feet are hurting. But continue walking, we have confidence that we are getting closer, but you’re sweaty and tired – and, not to mention, facing the thoughts of giving up.

I would like for you to watch a valuable video in my opinion. This is an important key to success and the meaning of trusting the process from Will Smith, a popular African-American actor and musician:


Perfectly lay down that brick or take another step. Carry on till its done.


The Growth Mindset

I’ve recently found out about a phenomenon called ‘the growth mindset‘. I would like to explain it because I’ve been through it and it is a wonderful thing.

When I hear people say to follow your passions, I can understand it. Because when you find something you’re passionate about you tend to stay focused and continue to do the things required to improving.

There are many things that we all want to be good at. Think of something you wanted to be good at and you were so passionate about it that you actually got what you wanted. It was all growth. You don’t start off being good at something; just like you don’t start off at your destination when you’re taking a long walk. We mentally calculate how long the ride will? And what will it take? Then, all of a sudden, we just start taking those steps.

Thats when motivation is gifted. Avoidance of procrastination and doing what it takes to get better always comes along the ride to help reinforce your steps. It becomes easier to do what you intended to do. But battling through all the doubt and rejections is where we come across opportunities to make us stronger. Knowing that with each step we take our destination gets closer. The only difference between let’s say making it to the top of the mountain versus becoming wealthy that is you can’t physically see your financial destination. This is the opposite of instant gratification, it does not come instantly, and like any other form of growth it takes little steps at a time.

How You Can Break Away From Your Circumstances

Everyone is different, therefore everyone has a different circumstance. This circumstance is unique to them and them only. We may be experiencing the same thing but there are many other factors that could be out of wack.

But the good thing is that you should not be discouraged.

Here is another way of thinking about your circumstances: What if you were made to go through the things you go through? Because remember, circumstances are unique to carrier of those circumstances.

You were made to go through what ever you are going through. This is where you will learn life lessons and find new opportunities. Each failure teaches you a new lesson. We may only have one life, but we have been gifted multiple ways to create a life of a lifetime. We are all built for it.

Before we talk about ways to master your circumstances, I would like to offer a valuable tip. It is never okay to get angry, for getting angry solves nothing. Easier said than done, I know. So whenever you are greeted with a situation that produces the nasty sensations of anger, I want you to think about what you can do about your situation. Ponder it, creating multiple resolutions. Then ask yourself, is what you’re angry about going to matter in 10 years? If yes, is it worth the energy, effort and time? The same goes with other negative emotions like jealousy, hate or unhappy.


To-do lists are extremely important for overcoming circumstances. You cannot slack off when times get tough; it is time to gear down and optimize your life for a journey. Therefore, when you make a to-do list you have to break it down bit by bit. Actually, the better terminology for a ‘to-do list‘ should be a ‘plan‘.

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Each and every one of the definitions above fits the description of what is a plan is (best to create your plan the night before). The detailed plan gives the brain some ease because you see it as simple steps to completing a task. Now, imagine having a to-do list with a bunch of things to just get done and what seems like no time to get it all done. Doesn’t that make you want to procrastinate a little more or put it off to a later time? In order to bypass this intense craving to procrastinate we must give ourselves little steps to take in order to get somewhere. These steps have to be obtainable and in a timely fashion and, most importantly, within the reach of your immediate grasp. Then you rinse and repeat, until the task is done.


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I first heard of this method from Mel Robbins, one of the most sought after motivational speakers. Her ‘5 Second Rule’ works to combat things like procrastination, where you need an extra boost of willpower when we are in the moment. This trick will be important when changing your circumstances because it can work for when those impulses are hard to overcome.

Here is how it works: You have 5 seconds to do the right thing.

For example, you walk in your room and notice how dirty it is. In your mind you have to count down from 5, then get to cleaning when you reach 1. Use the 5 seconds to make the decision to do the most beneficial thing. Do not procrastinate, do not try to avoid the problem.


The law of averages are for dealing with rejection, when something doesn’t the way you intended for it to go. For you to understand the law of averages, I will give you a personal experience with the law of averages.

I use to work in a grocery store where we had to personally walk up to customers and ask them if they would like to donate to the fundraiser that my store was supporting. Meanwhile, my coworkers who worked in a bank were walking around, chatting with the customer – trying to get them to open an account with the bank.

You can only imagine how much rejection my coworkers and I got from the customers. It felt like there wasn’t a point in asking anymore because everyone was saying “no”. However, there was always a “yes” lurking in the sea of “no’s”.

This is why the law of averages is important to your circumstances. You have to know that there will be rejections, sometimes there will be set backs and failures but there is always some good to come out of it.


Self Development is the Next Big Thing

“A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” 
― C.S. LewisMere Christianity

I hope you all find some type of appreciate for the quote above. I am glad that those of you who have taken the time out of your day to read this will get some information worth millions.

Before we go on, it is important that you look at everyone and know they have some type of problem; no one is perfect. Lets take the topic of obesity for example. Some people may see obesity as a problem. However, there is a big difference with obesity compared to something like an embarrassing credit score. A bad credit score/bank account bank can be kept secret to a certain degree; obesity cannot. Ultimately, though, someone can be obese and filthy rich while someone can be fit and dirt poor – we all have some type of problem, and no one is or ever will be perfect.

Now lets take a look at this quote by Carroll Bryant:

“The moment you stop trying to become a better person, is the moment you start to become worse than what you already are.”

Ah okay, this makes more sense.

If you are not trying to progress, you are doing the exact opposite. Life is basically beating you up and you have completely given up with no hope to change your situation. This is a terrible and dangerous situation to be in. You become ‘zombie like’. You run on autopilot, not realizing that you are running in place.

Now, I don’t mean to be harsh. However, I don’t exactly believe in sympathy. I believe that each and everyone of us has the ability to overcome our circumstances. I believe that is how we find our purpose. It takes a constant effort to fix things. It takes patience to know that you have to learn one new skill at a time until your value as risen through the roof. It takes persistent exercise and dieting and education on how weight loss works to lose 50 pounds.

The internet has allowed us tons of information to sink into our hands and act upon. All of your answers can be found at a click of a button. But please do not be skeptical; please do not wait. The time to glow is now; the time to achieve excellence is now.

Below is an image of the best starting point for those of you who have decided to start your journey on personal development. Jim Rohn is one of my mentors, even though I’ve never gotten to meet him. His philosophy and voice will keep your mind focused. Whatever the problem is, I believe he has something special to offer you.

Click the link and please listen to at least one:
Jim Rohn – YouTube Videos
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Pornography, Fapping and Why It Ruins Relationships

I owe the community of NoFap an extreme amount of gratitude. The reason behind this is because it has truly changed my life and the lives of many people as well. This article does not justify watching pornography; it is going to be extremely biased against it. No benefits will be listed or found. However, why it ruins the personal self and our relationship will be discussed.


It is possible to be addicted to pornography. You may know it subconsciously but it never really hits you. Changes are subtle and go unnoticeable. Scientists have compared porn addiction to actually doing hard drugs like cocaine and heroin. Once again though, you will never notice if someone who is addicted to porn is in their right mind.

Viewing pornography works the same way that cocaine and heroin work on the brain. Pornography, cocaine and heroin stimulates what scientists call the ‘reward pathway’. This pathway is activated when you complete something or do something that promotes life (e.g. drinking water, eating a delicious meal, having sex). Another example is the natural high you get after completing a workout. This pathway is not meant to be on constantly to further the discussion – only when you complete something that promotes life.

Now imagine what may happen if this pathway is turn on consistently AND without doing the work. It is as easy as a click of a button and there you go – brain stimulation for hours. This stimulation is the release of important chemicals in your brain such as dopamine and oxytocin. This chemicals are useful in bringing us pleasure and motivation to keep doing activities that promote life and wellbeing. The more a user watches porn, the more they WANT to watch. They will continue to come back to view because of that release in chemicals that make you feel good. The pathway will be corrupted just like being addicted to cocaine and heroin.


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I’ve read old articles about masturbation being a healthy practice. Which, it may be. But to me, it is not.

When you pair up pornography with masturbation. There is a huge problem.

From the above information, you might have a clue on where this is going. Once again we have a scenario where doing the work is little to none. When you pair this with pornography though, it is effortless, almost too easy. Like with the effects of alcohol, the enjoyment of sex is already at a higher rate (I’m pretty sure any drug intensifies to pleasure of sex).  Your dopamine is already raging high and your eyes are glued to the screen when viewing porn. Time passes by and you do not even notice it.

All of a sudden, you’re bingeing on porn and masturbating at the same time. Ultimately, your reward pathway is constantly firing, over and over again. May you not forget, this is inside your brain. A physical structure inside your brain that is being overworked like a worn out muscle during a work out. In this case though, there is nothing that can stop you besides yourself. Fapping takes over and it doubles the harmful effects of watching pornography alone.


How Porn and Fapping Ruins Your Relationship

Usually we think of people who watch porn as single individuals. Which is not wrong at all even though it is stereotypical. However, reports have shown that people use it while in their relationships as well.

Here are ways it affects your relationships:

  1. Porn teaches the viewer to see their partner and other people as objects – this disrupts the intimacy that a relationship is supposed to have, it also correlates with the development of social anxiety
  2. Porn sets unrealistic standards  – Porn-stars are porn-stars – in order words, this is their job – they are not amateurs, they are pros at having sex
  3. Decrease in sex drive – no need to have sex with your partner when you just watch porn and fap
  4. Promotes no trust – basically what a relationship is built on