We are in a time where sexual accusations are at its highest and women are coming out to speak about their experiences with sexual predators. Even the President of the United States, Donald Trump, has been accused of sexually overstepping his boundaries with multiple women. Actor,Terry Crews, has even had an occurrence with a higher male executive in a public space. Whether the allegations are true or not, we all have to admit that this is a problem.
Recently, I’ve read some testimonies on Amber Rose Slut Walk Site. Until then I’ve only read a quick sentence or sentence from posts on Twitter but never one like this one . I was definitely aware of the issue but never on this level. One of the biggest problems that many of us humans have is understanding. We don’t understand because we were not raised the same way as everyone else and we all have been exposed to different things. So that is what I search for in topics, simply understanding.
As men, we have to understand that many women enjoy looking good. Many of you may know where I am going, but for those of you who don’t, I am talking about the mindset of “look at the way she’s dressed, she’s asking for it”. It is a female’s nature and their right to look however they want, whenever they want. It does not mean that women are looking to find a sexual partner or to be sexualized in anyway.
Lets look at YouTube for proof. If you search “makeup tutorials” the first thing that you should notice is how many results come up (about 25,700,000 results).
Next lets click the ‘FILTER’ button and then under the ‘SORT BY’ tab click ‘View count’.
These are the first five things that will pop up. Look closer and you will only see millions – millions of views and millions of subscribers. Guess what they all have in common? Beauty, the cornerstone of being feminine. Millions of people search how to look good, it is not for men, it is for themselves. My understanding of women had to change from this “she is looking provocative, so she is asking for it” mindset. I had to understand the essence of what it is like to be a feminine and push my ego to the side.
We cannot judge a book by its cover. This is extremely important. We also must not overstep our boundaries. Women are caring by nature. This is why they enjoy cute animals and babies. The equivalent is when us men play a video games. We must understand that and respect it because it is not going anywhere. Parents must teach boys and girls things that they may experience in life while giving them room to think on their own and not with negative mindsets. By not pushing them to be what they’re ‘supposed’ to be like (buying boys action figures that are blue and buying girl dolls wearing pink), we can cultivate the sense that everyone is unique and our prejudgments may not always be correct.
To understand women, you can honestly just ask a woman why she dresses the way she does and take her word for it. Do not pressure her to do any more and do not make any moves on her that are uncalled for. Do not take advantage, just find a way to understand.
(P.S. – These same principles apply to the LGBTQ community as well.)