Pornography, Fapping and Why It Ruins Relationships

I owe the community of NoFap an extreme amount of gratitude. The reason behind this is because it has truly changed my life and the lives of many people as well. This article does not justify watching pornography; it is going to be extremely biased against it. No benefits will be listed or found. However, why it ruins the personal self and our relationship will be discussed.


It is possible to be addicted to pornography. You may know it subconsciously but it never really hits you. Changes are subtle and go unnoticeable. Scientists have compared porn addiction to actually doing hard drugs like cocaine and heroin. Once again though, you will never notice if someone who is addicted to porn is in their right mind.

Viewing pornography works the same way that cocaine and heroin work on the brain. Pornography, cocaine and heroin stimulates what scientists call the ‘reward pathway’. This pathway is activated when you complete something or do something that promotes life (e.g. drinking water, eating a delicious meal, having sex). Another example is the natural high you get after completing a workout. This pathway is not meant to be on constantly to further the discussion – only when you complete something that promotes life.

Now imagine what may happen if this pathway is turn on consistently AND without doing the work. It is as easy as a click of a button and there you go – brain stimulation for hours. This stimulation is the release of important chemicals in your brain such as dopamine and oxytocin. This chemicals are useful in bringing us pleasure and motivation to keep doing activities that promote life and wellbeing. The more a user watches porn, the more they WANT to watch. They will continue to come back to view because of that release in chemicals that make you feel good. The pathway will be corrupted just like being addicted to cocaine and heroin.


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I’ve read old articles about masturbation being a healthy practice. Which, it may be. But to me, it is not.

When you pair up pornography with masturbation. There is a huge problem.

From the above information, you might have a clue on where this is going. Once again we have a scenario where doing the work is little to none. When you pair this with pornography though, it is effortless, almost too easy. Like with the effects of alcohol, the enjoyment of sex is already at a higher rate (I’m pretty sure any drug intensifies to pleasure of sex).  Your dopamine is already raging high and your eyes are glued to the screen when viewing porn. Time passes by and you do not even notice it.

All of a sudden, you’re bingeing on porn and masturbating at the same time. Ultimately, your reward pathway is constantly firing, over and over again. May you not forget, this is inside your brain. A physical structure inside your brain that is being overworked like a worn out muscle during a work out. In this case though, there is nothing that can stop you besides yourself. Fapping takes over and it doubles the harmful effects of watching pornography alone.


How Porn and Fapping Ruins Your Relationship

Usually we think of people who watch porn as single individuals. Which is not wrong at all even though it is stereotypical. However, reports have shown that people use it while in their relationships as well.

Here are ways it affects your relationships:

  1. Porn teaches the viewer to see their partner and other people as objects – this disrupts the intimacy that a relationship is supposed to have, it also correlates with the development of social anxiety
  2. Porn sets unrealistic standards  – Porn-stars are porn-stars – in order words, this is their job – they are not amateurs, they are pros at having sex
  3. Decrease in sex drive – no need to have sex with your partner when you just watch porn and fap
  4. Promotes no trust – basically what a relationship is built on



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