“Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.” – Anton Chekhov
Before you read anymore of this goodness and you have to come with a mindset of actually practicing this. You have to go out and do it because it is a life skill that our generation lacks. Due to the boom in smartphones, millennials do not have the same mindsets of older generations. This causes us to express a lot of emotions online or via text message, which is still hard to do at times.
Older generations did not have any type of smartphones or even the internet to work with. Therefore, their only way of making friends or soulmates was the old fashion way – getting to know someone in person. This means they had to walk up to them, start a conversation, hold that conversation, and leave with some way of coming in contact again.
This is a guide how you can gain a bit confidence to shoot your shot at anyone you want. Also, keep in mind that this does not only work for in-person socialization, but also for social media engagement as well.
Tips on Approaching Someone
Please do not fear rejection, it is usually never the way you think of it to be.
There is many things you can do to combat this. What I use is the ‘YOLO’ method. This ‘You Only Live Once’ mindset has brought me a long way honestly. It works well because it forces to make the choice – either chicken out and let the opportunity slip away or you can go and take the chance because, well, you only live once. I tell myself this in my head then like magic I gain a slight push to seize the opportunity. Next thing you know my brain is like “Screw it, lets do it,” and I’m off on my way to meet someone new.
Tim Ferriss, the author of the New York Times Bestseller and International Phenomenon The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich, proposes fun challenges in his book that helps you with overcoming the fear of rejection. The challenge that has helped me out the most requires you just ask for phone numbers. You can even tell them it is okay to give out a fake number. The point is that you just want to get use to approaching people and asking for something from them. If you want to switch it up to a more millennial generation like method, you can ask for a social media account, such as their Snapchat. Do this for at least two people per day and you will see that you really should not fear anything. A lot of the times you are going to get a matching phone number or social media account.
Lastly, one of the most powerful tips on confidence and approaching someone is to kill negative thoughts. Your thinking plays an essential role in confidence. I help my thinking by saying affirmations like “I am confident ” or ” I will talk to X random people today.” Please do not be skeptical about this like I was at first. I promise you that if you don’t believe your thoughts play a role, you will not get better at overcoming the fear of rejeciton. Negative thoughts like, “I’m ugly” or “I could never talk to this person, so why try” will continue to hurt you. If you tell yourself you can’t do something, you are damn right, you can’t. However, if you tell yourself you CAN do it, I guarantee you can.
Before I forget, for the ladies, this game is for you as well. It is 2017, the world’s population continue to grow, and sometimes you have to shoot your shot. Trust me, many girls are already taking matters into their own hands, sometimes its the best way.
A few things into consideration:
- Their attention – a lot of the times we think people are not interested because they never look our way or they don’t acknowledge you. You have to understand that you may come off this way to other people as well. Our attention cannot be on multiple things at once, it is not possible. This happens when your phone has your attention and you’re looking down at it. To the people in your area, you may seem into what is going happening on your screen and they might not want to bother you.
- Timing – this relates with attention. You have to pick the times when people are not busy. When their attention is not captured by something. As funny as this sounds, it is a pretty good idea to shoot your shot as someone who is working. Their attention is on everything besides where they have to be, therefore, they are more willing to talk to you.
- Your looks – You would be surprised how much looks play a role. Of course you want to dress well, but do not think you have to go all out. Looks does not play a huge role. The two points above play a bigger role than how you look, so please do not think it is because of how you look. Everyone is beautiful/handsome to someone.